A Play On Words
Many of our readers have completed treatment and - like Mort and myself - have had to learn how to find our way back to our normal lives. But what is normal? Life itself is ever-changing in ways big and small. No matter what paths our lives take, we can never go back, but we can go forward. Cancer gives us the opportunity to prioritize, to let go of what's unimportant and to focus on what is.
Last week I talked with a fellow "graduate" who has been out of treatment for about a year. Physically, the doctors tell him he's in remission. He's turned the noun into a verb and then hyphenated and redefined it "re-mission," meaning that he has been given a second chance for a new mission in life. What a terrific perspective!
No matter the stage of our illness - whether newly diagnosed or long out of treatment - we all have dreams, big and small, to pursue. Cancer reminds us not to procrastinate. Some of us will find ourselves hurrying faster while others of us will find ourselves slowing down. Whatever pace is comfortable, we can all find a purpose and a passion.
Shortly after I completed treatment, at a time when we didn't know how long or how well it would work, I wrote the following:
"Cancer leaves me living in two time zones simultaneously. I reside in real time where I have responsibilities and I care about things big and small, from work to washing the floors. In real time, I sometimes get irritated that the demands of the moment grab my attention, change my schedule, and expect me to make instant decisions and responses when I would prefer to savor the moment, to slow down life a bit. But I also live in lymphoma time where a sense of urgency cries out, "Someday is now. Hurry up." In real time, I wish I'd had dry rot. Or chiggers. Or a yeast infection. I wish God would ban cancer and every other disease. But the lymphoma zone leaves little time to wish for that which I cannot change or even to spend much energy worrying about the outcome of my illness. The outcome of my life seems far more significant."
Now, nearly five years later, I still believe those words I wrote. My life has taken turns I would never have expected. Some have been wonderful. Others have been challenging. But that's life, and I am thankful for every breath that I take. And I thank you, my friend, for reminding me to stay focused on "re-missioning!"
Betsy