A tip for lifting your spirits
Mort recently wrote an entry about the effect of stress, and I wholeheartedly concur with him. Cancer itself places unimaginable stress on us, physically, emotionally and often financially, and we must somehow learn to cope with all the unexpected twists and turns after our diagnoses.
Shortly after I was diagnosed, I attended a support group at the hospital where I was being treated. At the time, I must have thought I was Superwoman because I didn't think I needed anybody, but I was curious to see what other patients looked like. Did they appear to be ill? Would they give me a glimpse into my own future?
That night, a psychologist who happens to be a friend of ours spoke to the group. He explained that depression is a common side effect of cancer, explained how to recognize it, and offered some advice on how to combat it. One of his ideas had a powerful impact on me. As an example of how powerful our minds can be, he proposed that if each of us were to write on a 3 x 5 card the 5 things about which we felt most guilty, and we were to look at that card every hour for a day, we would probably end up feeling pretty badly. Couldn't we also make ourselves feel better by reminding ourselves of positive things?
At home that night, I found a 3 x 5 card. Reasoning that I could at last manage my mental health even if I couldn't control my physical ailment, I wrote across the top of the card, "If you can worry yourself sick, you can think yourself well." I then wrote the names of all the people I loved the most , including the family and friends I most treasured. I tucked the card away, thinking that I would never need to look at a card to remind me of those special people.
By the end of the summer, after two relapses and several complications, I had fallen emotionally far more than I had ever dreamed I would. There were many times when I was sad, confused, and lonely that I pulled out the card and recalled happy memories with the people whose names appeared. As I struggled to find hope through months of uncertainty, I would stare at the names and find beacons of hope.
I would never have expected to need a little card like this. After all, my home is filled with photographs of all those people, and I see and talk with them often. When I first wrote the card, I frankly thought it was a silly idea, but as it turned out, this little reminder often helped to lift my spirits because I saw, in black and white, the reasons I had to fight back.
Maybe this could work for you as well.
Betsy