Finding an outlet
When I was first diagnosed, it was very difficult for me to see the pain in the eyes of my family and friends. Even in the first few days of denial, I must have subconsciously realized that I wanted to make them feel better, and so I did everything I could to make them laugh. As weeks of treatments, side effects and complications turned into months, I believed that I had a responsibility to help the people who cared about me, especially my husband, to worry less, and so I often withheld my innermost fears.
That, of course, left me without an outlet, and so I turned to the computer and wrote when I needed to express my feelings. Writing tremendously helped me to identify what I was really feeling and then to put those feelings into perspective, and by doing so, I was better able to deal with them and carry on. My book is based on that journal, and it delves into the emotions that my husband and experienced and shares how we coped with them.
I have often said that writing the book helped me far more than it could ever help anyone else. Writing the journal provided an outlet, and then turning it into a book further helped to put the whole experience of cancer into perspective and to detach from it, almost as if the story belonged to someone else.
Not everyone can and wants to write, but having an outlet is helpful. For some, support groups are beneficial. For others, it's taking a class or meditating or doing yoga. I believe that finding something that calms you can greatly help you through the maze of emotions.
Betsy